Smiling faces
March 6, 2007
It’s generally held that churchgoers “look so happy”. (At least it used to be. Times might be a-changing.) And I’ve found that to be quite true. But I’m actually not too thrilled about it. Ok, that sounds terrible — I’m not against people enjoying themselves. But to me that happiness is often rather shallow in the land of the churchianity.
The churches I’ve experienced have generally been homogeneous, white middle class. There are no real problems to talk about on the surface. Think muzak and yeah, smiling faces. But not genuinity.
When people join the club, and start their transition from unchurched to churched, they don’t fit that mold. They have issues. And they don’t hide them beneath a smiling face. That’s generally not that big of a problem, people are given some leeway, at least until they get the “saved” stamp and are expected to shape up their act.
The real problem is when churched people get into problem. No sorry, I meant when churched people show their problems. Having problems is quite accepted, but showing them is a big deal!
The church seems quite unable to deal with people with problems. I don’t mean the “I’m going to pray for you”/”he hasn’t been here for ages, say hello from me”/”we can’t accept that anyone who’ve done what you’ve done is [playing/singing/preaching]“/”you’re not welcomed here anymore” kind of dealing with problems. I’m more referring to, you know, genuinely caring about people.
In my experience church can be very supportive. Until you need support.
Wow, I couldn’t agree more. The church that I grew up in actually showed me the door when I needed their help in dealing with my sexually abusive father. It was one of the most painful times of my life, but it was the one thing that forced me to doubt the bullshit I had always been taught about the nature of God…and I couldn’t be more grateful for that…strange how it all comes around, you know.
Thanks for your comment bethany! It’s amazing that what people preach can be so far away from what they practice. I hope you’ve found support somewhere else!
Keep in touch!
Good point! It is always easier to say what is good and right in the eyes of the Lord than it is to practice it. It’s as common to encounter Christians who don’t have compassion in a large church as it is in a small church because a church is filled with people. This is what people are like. We are stupid sheep, as Jesus well knew.
What is my personal response to this thorny problem? My response is the only thing I can do anything about! Lord, open my eyes. Teach me how to practice your love. Help me see things the way You see them. Read the Bible and pray. Make time to be silent with the Lord as part of my prayer time. Do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Keep on the lookout for others who are doing the same thing because they are there, alongside the ones who just don’t get it at all. Find someone mature in the faith who can counsel me when I’m stuck. Have mercy on those who are blind and have treated me poorly because I expect the same mercy from the Lord for my own blindness and poor treatment of others. Allow the Lord to judge.
I agree. And just to clarify: I’m addressing myself just as much as I’m addressing anyone else. I wasn’t there for people when they needed help. I sure had the intention to be there, but I wasn’t.
I’m amazed to see how easy and also how difficult it is to love others. One of my current favorite Christian writers, Frederica Mathewes-Green, describes us as being like spacemen each in our own spacesuits.